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Wednesday, December 15, 2004 I mean, there were events I'm supposed to write about that many people would like to know (Like my visit to City Harvest Malaysia and about today's D&D at Swissotel) but I guess I really need to write about my feelings. I'm in a terrible mess now. Nono, not because of the wine I drank. Its a feeling I had since yesterday. Its like, I'm totally bored out. Bored of everything. Even bored of chatting on MSN. I just feel that there's no human around that I can talk to. Its like people is coming to me for advice, but there's no one I can turn to for advice. Maybe Alexcia's right, there are periods where you will feel down. (Nono... don't think dirty. I'm not having mensturation. I'm a boy btw. Haha.) But seriously, I think its the after-effects of this mental problem I have called depression. GuiXiong thinks he has depression. But I guess he changed his view after seeing me. But thanks anyway for really helping me to find my way in God through this problem. Alexcia, Peter and Cecilia too. And especially Bro Jae who helped me snap out of this depression.
The last thing on my mind is something about religion. You can skip this paragraph if you want to. You see, there's a difference between "on-paper" Christians and "true" Christians. Look, true Christianity isn't a religion, its a personal relationship with God. I have an aunt who baptised as a Christian, but she's what I classify as an "on-paper" Christian. The identity papers classify her as a Christian under religion, but she's not. She's not kingdom minded at all. Rather, she's society and status-minded. I mean Christians aren't supposed to hold joss-sticks at any gathering. But she scolded a Christian so severely last time for not holding. And she follows my mom to temple to pray to other gods. In the Bible, these gods aren't gods! They're satan in disguise! And she's a Christian! And during the visit to City Harvest Malaysia, she criticised the church so openly. And said something like, "the pastor said he scolded people, means we must scold people always too". Its part of discipleship! Scolding people for something they did wrong means you care. And during the praise and worship, she laughed alot and made funny actions. Imagine a Christian laughing at a church event! They're your brothers and sisters! She also lies alot, and uses me in lying. She said to be able to make money, you got to lie. C'mon. Look at our church's businessmen and businesswomen. Do they lie? Cheat? Steal? Do un-Christian things? NO! And they could be so successful that for example, Sis Elim Chew (77th Street founder) could be the top Businesswoman of the Year! I guess she's going to stop me from being a pastor. But like how pastor Kong did. His uncle begged him, on his knees even, not to be a pastor. Because it would be a disgrace to family. Pastor Kong continued to be a pastor because God told him to do be a pastor. Always remember that God's ways are higher than the ways of man. And now, he's impacting millions of people in Asia and the world, and is famous throughout Asia as a dynamic preacher of faith. And his uncle? Having a broken marriage and business now. See the difference? God also told me to be a pastor and I guess I'm going to have alot of barriers. Satan, you're not overcoming me! God will love and protect me throughout! Anyway guess I shall stop writing. Its a damn long entry today. If you've read through the end, thanks alot for reading my thoughts. Anything to comment, just comment on the tag-board. I would really appreciate that. Have a good day/night and God bless you. aCKj
- traveled on - 1:47 AM
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the traveller
Name: Ash C. past roads
[x]September 2004
[x]October 2004
[x]November 2004
[x]December 2004
[x]January 2005
other paths Aik Kun design by chris prayer list - Salvation of my family and friends. Tagboard
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